


Violet's First Time - I will never obey anyone other than you, Major

by Thevioletgilbertfan



Category: Violet Evergarden (Anime)
Genre: Comforting, F/M, Fanfiction, Feelings, First Kiss, First Time, Gentle Sex, Love, Major - Freeform, Manga & Anime, OBEY, Romantic Soulmates, Sex, Sex Education, Soldiers, Violet Evergarden - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:15:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25333024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thevioletgilbertfan/pseuds/Thevioletgilbertfan
Summary: Violet is 17 years old and still a soldier under Gilbert's command. When she watches a couple kiss, she experiences unexpected feelings. Although she doesn't understand it, she also wants to be loved and sleeps with Gilbert for the first time.The Scene takes place befor the Great battle of Intense.
Relationships: Gilbert Bougainvillea/Violet Evergarden, Violet Evergarden & Gilbert Bougainvillea
Kudos: 143





	Violet's First Time - I will never obey anyone other than you, Major

**Author's Note:**

> "I will never obey anyone other than you, Major. I wanted it that way. From the beginning, I always wanted to obey only you. Only you. You are the one who can touch me, the only one who is allowed to. I killed men who tried before you, Major"
> 
> Warning: This story contains only love scenes full of respect and patience ♥  
> I love this anime and I hope you like my fan fiction. Unfortunately, I am not a native speaker, but I have made an effort to write correct English. Have fun.

„Major? What are they doing", the young girl walking in front of Gilbert asked.

Gilbert took a closer look and regretted it immediately, as he saw the young soldier with the girl on his lap. It was a prostitute he guessed. With hair red like fire and a blue dress. They kissed intimaetly. The woman's dress had slipped up, you could see her bare legs. And in between was the soldier's hand.

„They...", Gilbert felt his cheeks becoming red as his looked at Violets questioning face. She had grown so much in the past six years. With her long blond hair and her big blue eyes she she looked even more dollike than she did as a child, now that she was something between 17 and 18 years old.

„They...", he started again. „They are kissing. Now let's go."

He wanted to walk away but she was still standing watching the couple. Curious just like a child. Gilbert took a deep breath, but he could't be angry with her. He never could.

„Now stop starring. We have to get ready fort he battle..."

As always, Violet immediately followed his orders, but he noticed that what she had just seen was bothering her. She never talked much, actually always walked a few steps ahead or behind him, and yet he felt it as they strode through the autumn evening air. The camp was still busy. Soldiers laughed, drank or stood at the food counter. It had been an exhausting day and Gilbert was looking forward to spending the evening before the battle of Intense calmly in his tent. There was still a lot of paperwork to do.

They finally reached his tent. It was big compared to the ones of the other soldiers, because of his rank as a major. He even had his own camp bed, while Violet, who shared the quartiers with him since they met six years ago, always slept on the ground. He had offered her often enough to swap their places for sleep, but she never wanted. So the least that he did was ordering her to use a pillow and a blanket in cold nights.

Besides the bed there was also a desk for all the writing stuff he had to do as a major when he wasn't part oft he direct battle. He sat down there now and lit the lantern. A warm light made the tent a bit more comfortable. Violet sat down too, but on the ground and began to clean her weapons. He watched her for a few seconds, because he liked how properly she did just the smallest tasks. Over the past years she truly became more and more like him and it was as if she was the only person in the world that truly knew him.

Then he started writing. The feather scratiching the paper and Violet doing her work were the only noises. Gilbert felt a deep relexation and happyness and wished they had more time than this night before the battle started.

„But Major", Violet suddenly started.

„Why were they kissing and touching each other?"

The feather felt out of his hand and left a big ink stain on the document.

Gilbert sighed and looked up.

Violet stood in front of his desk. He had never witnessed so much emotion in her pale face. She was truly confused and Gilbert smiled unvoluntarily. Maybe it was normal. The girl had grown up just like a wild animal, why should't she react to something so natural. Maybe his feeling of shame was the wrong reaction, a reaction he had been educated to by the prude society he was born into.

„It is normal. If a man and a women like each other and spend a lot of time together, they want also their bodies to be close to each other", he explained. „You see that often before battles: Soldiers with women"

Violet nodded. „Because they are afraid to die?", she asked then.

Gilbert didn't know when was the last time that he met a women. He wasn't a man that enjoyed the company of prostitues unlike his older brother. He needed a deep connection to sleep with someone, or else he just could't enjoy it or even was disgusted.

„Yes. I mean maybe. Grown up humans like that kind of interaction. It makes them feel warm and alive...", he didn't know what else to say, but Violet seemed satisfied.

„I get us something to eat", she said and left.

Gilbert noticed how tense he had sat the whole conversation and took a deep breath. He wasn't an emotional man, but it was different in the nights before battles. Deep in him he felt fear in those nights. Not about himself, but about Violet, who slept so innocently on the ground next to his bed. He felt the strange fear, that something could happen to her, that she could get hurt, even if she was so much stronger and faster than him.

„They had potatoes and canned flesh with beans" The clinking sound of a tablet startled him out of his thoughts, as Violet started to share the portions. As always the portions were small, the supply situation had deteriorated since the beginning of the war.

And the girl always ate much less than him.

"You should eat more, Violet", he said, took his plate and decided to sit next to her on the ground.

"The Major should not worry about me. My daily intake of calories is totally fine", she replied mechanically.

Gilbert looked at her slim figure that was covered in the green, wide uniform and her hands that worked much harder than his. He wans't too sure about that.

But over the past six years he had accepted more and more the way she treated herself more than an object, than a human being, even if it hurt himself sometimes. So they ate silently and after that they sat silently together and Gilbert starred at the dirty yellow tent wall and thought about the strategy he planned for the following battle. It wasn't unusual that they didn't talk much.

"Major? Do you like that kind of interaction as well?", Violet suddenly asked with her emotionless voice.

Gilbert winced.

"Yes and no", he said then. "I don't like to do it with anyone...and the last time I did it is long ago...", he didn't know, why he was always so honest to her, but felt as if her big blue eyes forced him to.

"You already told me, that people only do it with people they like and people they spend a lot of time with", Violet corrected him automatically.

"But Major you only spend time with your superiors or with the soldiers."

Gilbert started laughing.

"And with you", he froze, didn't know, why he said that and hoped, that Violet's sharp ears hadn't listen.

"Whatever...it's late...we should go to bed soon", he said fast.

Violet nodded and her shoulders slumped forward. It was the first time that Gilbert saw a kind of disappointment in her face. It confused him and made his heart race.

"If that's your order", she replied emotionless and Gilbert watched her as she took off her boots and placed them neatly next to his. Then she curled up on the few woolen blankets just like an animal. She always slept in her clothes like a true soldier. Her little white hand flipped under the pillow and she took of her brooch and looked at it closely, while Gilbert dimmed the light and lied himself on the bed next to her. As long as they were so close to the front, he too slept in his uniform.

As he finally found a comfortable sleeping position on the hard bed and slowly drifted to sleep while listening to the howling wind and sound of the firing artillery just a few miles away from them, the girl sat up on her blankets.

"Major?", he opened his eyes in surprise, because she never interrupted his sleep before.

"What's the matter, Violet?", he asked worried. Was she ill?

The girl seemed unsettled. "I feel strange", she said and avoided his eyes. Gilbert was now alarmed. He had cared for her for six years, she had never been sick, never cried because of an injury or her inability to feel something.

"Hey Violet. Have you any pain?", he said calmly, stood up from his bed and sat next to her, much closer than he planned.

She shook her head first, but then she laid her hand on her chest. "It feels tight here", she tried to explain with the few words she had.

The bright blue eyes filled with tears. "I don't know", she admitted. "I don't know what I feel or how it's called. But I..."

Gilbert felt a deep sadness inside him, because Violet still couldn't express any feelings, but he tried patiently to understand.

"I want to feel warm and alive too"

Her hands trembled, then clenched into fists on her lap, while Gilbert swallowed loudly. Violet had never made a wish before and the man had never thought that she might have a need for physical closeness. Bad conscience came over him. Had he himself thought of her as a tool? Had he truly thought that just because she killed at his command she had no need for some sort of human touch?

But how could he give that to her? He looked at Violet. The most beautiful girl everyone had ever seen with her doll like face with the pink lips and her pale, perfect skin. When she was a child, he felt a strong bond with her, as if he was her older brother or even her father. That was probably because he was more than 10 years older than her. He wanted to protect her, even though she was stronger than he was then. It had changed over the years. Since he gave her the brooch in the market and realized that she had some kind of feelings for him. Since that day, he had felt drawn to her in a strange way, watching her from afar as she grew up to be a beautiful young woman. At the same time, he had turned her into a deadly soldier and could not take away the fact that she considered herself his willless tool.

And now she was sitting here in front of him and for the first time really asked him for something that he could not give her. He was too afraid that she wouldn't understand, that she only did it because she thought it was his command, that she had misunderstood something from his explanation.

And yet he couldn't help it. Even if she couldn't express it, even if she might never fully understand it or find it herself, was Violet also entitled to feel loved?

"Okay, Violet," he broke the silence between them. "Give me your hands. Palms up"  
Violet hesitated not a second at his command and held out both hands. Her face was unemotional, but the eyes looked at him waiting.  
Gilbert sat cross-legged. It was a strange line that he was now crossing. He had never actively touched her. Sometimes he had pushed her aside in battle, sometimes she had helped him to stood up again. But tenderness had never been in her touch. He took a deep breath, then gently touched the palm of her hand. Her skin was rough from the hard work she did every day and the use of weapons, but it was also warm. Somehow he was surprised at how warm it was. He carefully let his fingers draw circles on her hand. Her blue eyes followed his finger with great interest. "How does that feel?" He asked.  
Violet seemed to think hard for a moment. It had to be strange for her to categorize the feeling.  
"Pleasant," she said matter-of-factly.

"That's good," he murmured. "And now my command to you. You have to say when something doesn't feel that way when I touch you"

Violet nodded vigorously and allowed Gilbert to bring her hand to his face with the beautiful long fingers and to touch it very carefully, always with the fear that she would not like it.  
Gilbert's heart was racing as he kissed the rough skin. "Major? Why are you kissing my hand?" Violet asked.  
Gilbert looked at the hand in front of him and also kissed the other. "Because I owe your hands so much," he replied hoarsely, thinking about all the death these hands had caused at his command and hoped that she wouldn't ask any more.

A strand of hair had slipped from Violet's braid and hung on her face. Gilbert let go of her hands and carefully stroked the streak behind her ear. He had always wondered how her hair would feel when they were lying next to each other in the dusty trench. And now it slid smoothly through his fingers like gold.

Violet seemed to like when he touched her hair. Everything about her seemed unusually relaxed. Even her watchful eyes closed for a moment when he loosened her braid and her full mane fell like a waterfall over her back.

Gilbert gently stroked her hair for a few minutes. He felt happy. He would never have believed that she would allow him to touch her. "You're thinking of my order, aren't you?" He asked, pausing uncertainly.  
"You say if something is uncomfortable to you. That's an order, Violet!" he emphasized again to be on the safe side.  
"I always think of your orders, Major!" Violet replied quickly and immediately looked more tense.  
Gilbert said nothing more about it. His hand was now on her cheek. Even though her skin looked like the purest porcelain, it was incredibly soft. His hand looked big on her pretty little face. A warm feeling came over Gilbert as he slowly added his second hand and held her face, the place where it was most vulnerable, in both hands.

He hesitated for a moment and was afraid that if he kissed her he would go too far.  
"Did I do something wrong, Major?" Violet asked uncertainly.  
Gilbert shook his head and had to smile involuntarily.  
"I would love to kiss you, Violet, but I'm afraid that I am the most selfish person in the world and that I have no right to do so"  
Violet didn't seem to understand what he meant because she kept looking at him. There was something pleading in her blue eyes under the long eyelashes.

"Is that an order?", she asked.  
Gilbert couldn't resist.  
„Yes", he said slowly.

He closed his eyes and his lips approached her face as if by themselves. He felt her warm breath against his skin and then suddenly her lips. They were soft and lively. He heard Violet moan softly and smelled her body odor for the first time. It didn't smell like a soldier who had slept in his uniform for days, but fresh, sweet, clean.  
Her lips opened slightly when he touched them with his tongue as if her body instinctively knew what to do. Maybe it was like that. Maybe her body was capable of feeling something, that her mind wasn't.  
Violet tasted like spring. Sweet and lively. Gilbert felt heat rise in his body as he continued kissing her, but he forced himself to stop.

He backed away from her face and noticed with a smile that she had still closed her eyes.  
"Do you like that?" he asked, tracing the tip of her nose with his index finger.  
Violet opened her eyes again. He was touched by how much trust there was in them and at the same time it scared him.  
"I don't know. Major," she replied a little helplessly. "How do you know what you like?"  
Gilbert hesitated and drew a circle on her hand again.  
"Does it feel comfortable?" He asked.  
Violet nodded quickly.  
"It feels even stronger than comfortable," she then tried to explain awkwardly. "It does something different, something stronger with me, if you kiss me, Major. Here ...", she took his hand and put it on her chest. "My heart. It beats so fast, although I don't make an effort."

She looked at him questioningly. Gilbert smiled and kissed her again. It felt so overwhelming, so right. The kiss grew more intense and suddenly Violet sank backwards. Gilbert followed her until he was lying on her body. It felt good when she was under him. As if he could finally really protect her. Her body felt so small beneath him, so fragile that he was briefly afraid that he might break it. Violet's hands were on his hair, running through his blue-black strands. He did not understand why her body reacted to him this way, when she had never touched anyone gently, but had previously only caused pain and suffering.

When he kissed her warm neck, he was briefly afraid that it was too much for her. After all, she was under him, vulnerable and in an unusual situation. And so he stopped again, even if it was getting harder and harder and his breath went faster.  
"Do you not only like the touch, but also that I am the one who touches you?" He asked, feeling a sudden uncertainty. She was too beautiful for him and he had made her to the tool that she was. He was much older than her, 27 years old, with scars on his face and body and everything about her was so perfect. He didn't know if she liked his smell or the taste of his kisses. He didn't even know if he was good at it.  
Violet looked at him calmly. Her facial features were very soft.

"I will never obey anyone other than you, Major. I wanted it that way. From the beginning, I always wanted to obey only you. Only you. You are the one who can touch me, the only one who is allowed to. I killed men who tried before you, Major"

Gilbert put his forehead to her forehead. "Why? Why do you trust me so much?" He asked, both touched and tormented.  
"I ... I don't know," replied the girl. "I only know that I belong to the major"

It was so simple, so honest, what was going on in her head. He loved her for it. Yes, he loved her with all his heart. But he didn't know how to tell her. How she would ever understand his words.

With a suppressed sob, Gilbert pulled the girl closer. He felt her heartbeat against his chest. It was true. Her heart was beating as fast as his own.  
"Even if I belong to the major," Violet asked suddenly. "Do I have the right to be so close to him?" She seemed unsettled. Gilbert knew why. Violet felt unworthy of him. No matter what she did. Humility had determined everything she did since the day she met. It didn't matter if she only ate what he left or slept on the floor. She felt she was unworthy. Gilbert would have given anything to make her understand how important she was to him. He'd talked to her about it, even shouted at her. But nothing had helped. She had stood there, head bowed, and waited for him to stop. Then he realized that neither he nor she could change it. He had been sorry because he had made the mistake of expecting something from her that seemed as natural to him as breathing.

To feel. He felt thousands of emotions, desires, fears every day. He was able to lie and to imagine things. Violet wasn't able to do all that. Up until an hour ago, Gilbert would never have thought that she might even like to be touched. And now she was half under him. Her cheeks were flushed and she looked more alive than he had ever seen.

"You are the only person I want so close to me, Violet," he said finally.

"You belong to me," he added. He knew that she understood better that way.  
Then he kissed her again. The shirt of her uniform had slipped up. He saw it from the corner of his eye and couldn't help but touch her flat stomach. She was even warmer there than on her lips and he felt even more clearly that she was a real person. It chuckled under his hand, muscles tightened, and her stomach rose and fell as she breathed. It looked so small under his big hand.

Then he kissed the bare skin on her stomach and was almost amazed to see that she had a navel like he did. It was irrelevant, but it painfully showed him that he hadn't perceived her as a human being either.  
He noticed that she was moving under his hand and clenched her fists.  
"Are you all right, Violet?" He asked, brushing his hair back from his face. Maybe he had gone too far.  
Violet sat up. Her skin was no longer as pale but rosy. "I feel warm," she said. "... and strange" She paused and seemed to be thinking hard. Gilbert waited patiently.  
"Major. It feels warm here and it runs through my whole body from there. In my hips and legs.", She put her hand between her legs.  
"I'm worried that I can't fight well in the morning"  
Gilbert had to laugh. He had to laugh like he hadn't in a long time. Out of relief and out of joy.  
Violet looked at him blankly and he tried to stop and ran a hand over his face.  
"You like it when I touch you. That's why you feel that way," he then explained.  
"Your body is relaxed. You won't always feel that way. And certainly not on the battlefield," he smiled. "Do not worry"  
Violet nodded. She trusted him so much.  
"Major? What do you call it when you feel like that?"  
Gilbert noticed that he was getting a little embarrassed.  
"You are sexually aroused"

Violet nodded and repeated what he had said. Gilbert hoped that she would not use this description in public.  
"May I touch you there, Violet?" He then asked.  
Violet turned back to him, legs slightly open. He put his hand on her stomach again and let it slide slowly down until he felt the firm fabric of her pants. Violet's breath was calm and she closed her eyes again. Gilbert felt excitement rise in him.  
"Take off your clothes," he said.

Without hesitation, Violet pulled her shirt over her head and pants off her hips. Gilbert felt guilty because she was doing everything he ordered. Was it all morally acceptable what happened here? He had been the one who teached her how to behave like a human, how to read and how to write. Was it alright that he was now also the one who taught her how to have sex?

He quickly looked away. "May I see you naked, Violet?" He then asked.  
"You've done that a lot, Major," Violet said. It sounded almost astonished.  
Gilbert shook his head. Of course, Violet had changed sometimes when he was in the tent. But he had never considered it his right to watch her doing it, and instead always looked away.  
"Of course you can look at me," added the girl.  
Gilbert slowly raised his eyes. The dim light from the lamp shone on Violet's body. He had never seen anything so beautiful. She was so pale and the skin was even except for a few scars. Violet was muscular yet slim with long legs, a narrow hip and small, round breasts with rosy nipples.  
"You are so beautiful," Gilbert whispered stunned. "Violet, do you even know how beautiful you are?"  
Violet didn't seem to care much about his compliment. Maybe her own beauty was too abstract, too unimportant for her.  
"Your eyes are beautiful," she replied. "I noticed that from the beginning"  
Gilbert smiled and slowly stretched out his hand and pulled Violet closer to him.  
As he kissed her again and gently sucked her tongue, his fingers stroked her warm body, every scar, and her hard little nipples until they moved between her legs.  
A little groan escaped from Gilberts lips. She was warm down there, almost hot. And wonderfully moist. There was no doubt that she wanted him as much as he wanted her.

His heart was racing as Violet sighed softly and moved closer to his hand. She was so honest and so instinctive that it excited him more than anything he had ever experienced. The longer he stroked her, the more urgent her kisses became.  
"How does that feel?" Gilbert asked hoarsely.  
"I think I feel alive, Major," Violet's voice sounded breathless and strangely moved.  
"It feels good when you touch me there."  
Gilbert smiled and took his hand away.  
He didn't know how to ask, if he could even dare to aks, but everything about him wanted to be closer to her.  
"May I be as close to you as possible?" He asked.  
Violet looked at him questioningly.  
"How is that even possible, Major?"  
Gilbert swallowed dryly and began to loosen his tie and unbutton his shirt.  
"I'll show you," he said then, taking off his pants under her curious look.

"Lie down," he ordered gently, and lay down on her again. Her breath went quickly and her cheeks turned red.

"It may hurt a little bit," he said. "But that's only because nobody has ever been so close to you. I'll stop immediately if it hurts too much."  
Violet nodded and didn't seem worried about it. Of course not. He had never hurt her like his brother had. Why should she be scared now? Gilbert was touched.  
"You really trust me blindly" he said more to himself than to her. He was between her legs, half on top of her and had never felt so insecure and happy at the same time.  
Violet nodded and looked up at him. He took her precious face in his hands and kissed her. Then he carefully entered her, always worried that it might hurt her because she felt so fragile and small. He was so worried about the girl, who could easily kill him on the spot.  
Violet winced for a moment.

"Are you all right, Violet?" He asked with difficulty. It felt so incredibly good to be inside of her. Hot, moist, close. He wanted to move, love her, but he also wanted to make sure she liked it.

"Yes, major. It didn't really hurt." She looked at him with her big blue eyes.  
"I feel safe when you're so close to me. It feels good."

Then she sighed deeply and pulled him closer.

Gilbert kissed her neck and felt deep happiness mingle with his lust.

"You are always safe with me, Violet," he said, breathing heavily and starting to move slowly. Her legs trembled and her body reacted so naturally to his own that Gilbert felt a deep sense of connection between them. He knew that from tonight he would only belong to her.

As he moved faster, Violet's groans grew louder, her skin shone with the light of the lamp, and her eyes were on him. Her rosy lips opened slightly.  
"Major," she whispered, shivering when she had an orgasm.

It was the most beautiful, the most erotic that Gilbert had ever seen when she winced with pleasure under him. This picture along with the way she breathed "Major" also brought him to orgasm. He had to bite his lips to avoid screaming with pleasure and hid the face in her golden hair. Breathing heavily, he remained on her naked, damp, shiny body, stunned by what had just happened.  
"Major?"  
Gilbert raised his head and looked at her sweaty face. It was so beautiful. He carefully touched her lips.  
"The feeling I have now is the same I feel ...", she hesitated.  
"...after a warm bath. Or when the sun shines on me, or after a delicious meal or when I have slept deep and calm ..."  
Gilbert smiled and put his head on her chest. Her heart was beating calmly now.  
"You are satisfied," he said. "That's what this feeling is called."  
Violet nodded.  
They were silent for a while and Gilbert didn't know what to say. The magic of the past few hours was still in the air, but he also felt how threatening morning was approaching.  
Finally he sat up, reached for the blanket and then pulled Violet close to his body.  
"You will be able to sleep well now, Violet," he stroked her hair and kissed her one last time.  
Violet watched him, everything about her looked relaxed and tired.  
"Major," she murmured. Then she curled up and snuggled into his bare chest.  
And Gilbert held her, wishing he had the courage to tell her that he loved her.

He would tell her after the battle of Intense tomorrow. When he had enough time to explain it to her.

What the meaning of "I love you" was.


End file.
